Book Review: Your Table is Ready by Michael Cecchi-Azzolina

I’m funny, how? I mean, funny like I’m a maître D’.

Your Table is Ready: Tales of a New York City Maitre D’ by Michael Cecchi-Azzolina. Narrated by Michael Cecchi-Azzolina. Macmillan Audio, 2022. 9 hours (approx.).

Michael Cecchi-Azzolina has worked in the hospitality industry for 35 years. During that time, he helped run some of New York City’s most famous restaurants such as The Water Club, The River Cafe, Raoul's and Le Coucou. His book, Your Table is Ready: Tales of a New York City Maitre D’, is a memoir that goes behind the scenes, so to speak, of these establishments.

Since it is a memoir, the book doesn’t follow a narrative thread. It’s ordered chronologically, which gives some sense of direction and continuity. Generally speaking, however, it's more like an anthology of short stories. Most of those short stories are very interesting. A few are duds. 

One of the duds is “Althea”, wherein the author relates a tryst with the wife of legendary pornographer Larry Flynt. Brief and not very interesting, one gets the impression the author included this chapter as a brag.

The best episode is Cecchi-Azzolina’s disastrous brush with mobster, fat Anthony. Not recognizing the over-served drunk man at the bar for a member of the Grotti crime family, the maître D’ cuts him off. Anthony vows revenge for this perceived slight. What follows is a wildly entertaining attempt to get Cecchi-Azzolina off Anthony’s shitlist.

The book also gives an all-access look into the inner workings of restaurants. Some have compared it to Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. That book dealt with the kitchen; this one deals with the front-of-the-house. I suspect many readers will learn a lot in addition to being entertained. I particularly liked Cecchi-Azzolina warning that a restaurant whose maître D’ demands a tip isn’t worth eating at.

I was a bit shocked by the obscenities and sex talk. I needn’t have been as the description of the book clearly states, “Your Table Is Ready is a rollicking, raunchy, revelatory memoir.” Even so, I get the impression that Cecchi-Azzolina was trying to play up his own, real-life Italian mafia roots and affect a persona in the vein of Tommy DeVito.

Be that as it may, Your Table is Ready is an informative and funny book. Funny how? It’ll amuse you. It’ll make you laugh. It’s here to fucking amuse you.

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