Introduction
According to their website, Reedsy is “changing the way books are published by giving authors and publishers access to talented professionals, powerful tools, and free educational content.”
A few months ago, a member of the Reedsy team asked me to write reviews for them. I agreed. Below are two reviews of advanced reader copies provided through Reedsy. Please visit the Reedsy website for more information.
The Godslayers by Jakob Sjolander
Jakob Sjolander’s The Godslayers: The Megiddo Incident is a fantasy set in the modern world. When prophets foresee the coming of the Mayan god, Quetzalcoatl, Mole and the rest of the mythologically-themed Godslayers, or super soldiers are deployed to stop it.
It would be tedious to account for every bit of bad dialogue or line of prose that can be described colloquially as “cringe.” Suffice it to say, Mr. Sjolander would benefit from an editor. This review instead will be limited to three major concerns: character, conflict and plot cohesion.
First, character. There are a number of vivid characters here. There is Cathy with her bright hair and matching disposition; Frosty and her magic sword; and the oozy, bug-infested McCormick. Unfortunately, the protagonist is vanilla Mole. Plain vanilla. Not even a single jimmie on top. There isn't a physical description of him, leaving the reader to guess if he’s a moleman until a character at last states, “So you’re human,” about halfway through. Further, he is an observer rather than an actor. He watches through binoculars as the Godslayers set up their base. He watches through video feed as they conduct an assault. When he finally does something worthwhile, his efforts are ineffectual, and the situation is remedied by a deus ex machina. His character arc - overcoming PTSD - falls flat.
Second, conflict. Nobody in the story knows what’s going on. There is a vague prophecy and a duplicitous informant. As a result, Mole wanders around asking questions, but everyone is just as clueless: We think something will happen, but God knows where or when. The only palpable threat comes from the various magical factions occupying Megiddo alongside the Godslayers. Yet, it is not clear why they are so hostile.
Which brings up the third point, plot cohesion. This can be expressed by a series of questions. Why are foreign entities allowed to establish operations in an American city? What are their goals? What, precisely, is the motivation of the villainess? And so on. Also, Mole the “sewer expert” never enters a sewer.
There are some good things here, too. The premise is solid. The PTSD arc has potential. The climax is well handled. Indeed, when some characters are killed, Mr. Sjolander manages to elicit empathy from the reader.
Even so, Godslayers is not recommended. Perhaps with practice Mr. Sjolander’s skill will equal his vivid imagination.
Resurrection by J. W. Bendall
J. W. Bendall’s Resurrection is the first installment of “an epic fantasy series in a uniquely Australian setting.” Bendall will be taken at his word regarding the setting, but at a scant 30,000 words Resurrection is hardly an epic.
Arna is a native whose land is endangered by an invading empire. Her people, the Kith, also seem to have an inborn talent for necromancy. She reanimates the bones of Burruk, one of nine warriors who failed to repel the invading force decades earlier, and the pair set out to assassinate the empress.
Never mind that killing a head of state would not cause that state to collapse. Sure, it works for Captain Kirk in an hour-long episode of Star Trek, but a book demands more finesse. In spite of this, the plot is very good, and Bendall keeps the reader turning the pages - no small feat!
It is, however, impeded by amateur prose, bad dialogue and flat villains. An example of all three:
“Quiet!” growled the man in charge. “The Empress quashed the power out of this land when she took it. The Kith and their heathen ancestor spirits have no hold over this place. Submit, girl, and answer for your thieving.”
The real trouble is that Bendall didn't finish his novella. Yes, it has a beginning, a middle and an end (that is, in so much as a first installment can have an end). Still, the second half feels rushed, as if Bendall grew weary of his project and hurried to its conclusion for the sake of calling it done. Scenes such as skulking into the empress’s palace could - and should - have been developed into multiple chapters. There should’ve been more resistance, as well.
The magic system is also confused. Arna’s first spell requires a bit of work including the retrieval of a sheep’s soul from “the Dream” (i.e., land of the dead). However, in the same chapter she is able to “puppeteer” a scarecrow at a moment’s notice while under the pressure of an advancing mob. Moreover, how exactly did Arna come to possess this necromancy? Can all Kith learn it? If so, why wasn’t Burruk resurrected sooner, or death eradicated entirely?
In conclusion, Resurrection is an entertaining story left unfinished. Had Bendall put more time into redrafts and fleshing out the second half, it could have been pretty damn good.